That's how I feel today. I am on top of the world after a particularly challenging day yesterday. Why is it that so many of us lack communication skills?? Why is it so hard to separate your emotions while talking to someone who makes you angry or has done you wrong?? I speak of a specific individual who happens to employ me, and I don't want to spit angry details however I want you to understand my perspective. Literally in the last year working with this family I have never called off, I have taken minimal amounts of time here and there to travel to visit my family, I have never taken a vacation nor have I ever told them no when they ask me to work. Realize that I nanny for this family 10 hours a day, and while hubby is out of town I am expected to work 12 hours a day because neurosis, stupidity, and fear of being alone with her kids has brought mama to the conclusion that 'its too hard to get sister to bed while lil man is awake and running around'. Fellow mothers is this not the most absurd thing you have ever heard?????? Why do dumb people have children. Knowing that, yesterday I found someone interested in hiring me and they wanted to meet at 6:30, I was supposed to stay til 8 but their aunt was coming over to visit as well. I needed to leave by 6, mama normally gets home from work between 630-7, and when I asked her to come home early you would have thought I suggested she give me her kid(which I tried to do at another time, but that's neither here nor there--I just know I will offer a better life than he has)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was literally screamed at through the phone for trying to spring this on her 'last minute' even though it was 130 when this conversation took place... HEATED was my first middle and last name! haha. Needless to say, I realize that this is the final straw, my time with this family is donezo and no matter how hard it is to leave my lil man and sister I have to, my relationships with the rents are being destroyed slowly but surely. I don't have the patience or anger management to not growl back with my mother bear instincts...I have to protect those I love, including myself!
So as I continue on this path to a better job and more fulfilling employment, I hope that I can have the same drive and determination as my mother and sister friend, Fresh Mintings. If you aren't already following her blog, please do! She is my ghandi guru and gets me in greener grass! Shout-outs are fun, aren't they??
That's my story, xo thePioneerQueer
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Its always something...
So when you don't make the time to do things you wish to get done it will all just pile up!!! I have been trying to have a really effective life right now, and it gets a little rough sometimes!!! But as promised I do need to tell you about my day on Sunday:
So I had been out with high school friends having dinner on Saturday Night in the beautiful area of Old Town Alexandria... We had an amazing time and conversation never stopped flowing!!!! So my little sister was in my company the entire evening and it was so refreshing to have a night together with her again... She is such a wonderful time. So we travelled to Bethesda to meet up with friends that were out at a dive spot, a new favorite. We had such an awesome time jumping and bopping around on the dance floor especially to Rihanna's We Found Love... I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the short end of it, Meg got shwasted, sloppy hot mess getting hit on hardcore by our new friend who is having relations with a dear friend... It caused some slight drama but ended well, I guess... We left the bar without either of our IDs, had no idea at the time where they ventured off to! I drove Megan home, I was Captain Sober... Filled out all my paperwork for America's Got Talent and then drove downtown to the mall. I walked all around the Monuments, mentally preparing for my audition through the practice of meditation. Met a bunch of people who were setting up for different walks and fundraisers down there for the day. It was an awesome morning! I could not stop taking pictures of the beautiful scenery and the sunrise!!! I seriously want to continue this same routine at least once a month, it was breathtakingly gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Words cannot express and I would upload the photos from my phone, however my shit got jacked...
So the Audition Process begins. I got in line at 7, there was already a line wrapping around the building, and immediately started networking hardcore. Because am I the only one out there that thinks everyone who auditions for all of these reality mega-hits has to be the best of friends when they get to know each other... AND that's exactly what happened!!!!!! I first met two little 17yr old little brothas, they were singers in a group of 4. The most impressive was a younger gentlemen who was from Armenian origin and he loves to rap and flow hip-hop! I suggested we collaborate, I will be his Niki Minaj... His mom thought it was an awesome idea. Also atop the list of impressive folk is this group of high schoolers who immediately performed for me to the song David Guetta collaborated with someone.... But the line was one of my favorite parts...
So we get numbers and wristbands and go inside to wait for the audition to happen. I found a lovely group with a singer, bass player, and guitarist!! They were singing Bad Romance and were awesome!!! After waiting and eternity it was my time to shine... I went in and had to talk into a camera and tell about my history, went to the piano, got my bearings and wailed on Adele!!!! It was great. I was then asked to step out and was called back in to sing a second song, being put on the spot and unprepared I went with Celine's It's all Coming Back to ME!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course I nailed it, they seemed to really enjoy my vocalizations. I might need to switch up my routine and ditch Adele for the legit audition if I make it, soley for the purpose that it was a popular song in the DC auditions....
So the only BUMMER of the day was my phone, wallet and personal items were rummaged through and stolen!!!!! You would think that since they require you to leave all personal belongings outside of the audition space they would have tighter security to ensure that doesn't occur... But anyway I have no other complaints about any of the staff working from either the Convention Center or America's Got Talent. Everyone there had a very positive outlook with great energy and were extremely helpful!!
It's now just a waiting game to see if I made it to the next round... We shall see how it goes, but in the meantime I got a new phone, the iPhone4 and am in love!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome to the world of wonderful, it is literally a SMARTphone... So I have started recording some of my singing in the car and will be uploading them to YouTube so keep it in the back of your mind that I will enlist your services to not only view it, but suggest to everyone you know so I can make it on the show....
That's my story... xo thePioneerQueer
So I had been out with high school friends having dinner on Saturday Night in the beautiful area of Old Town Alexandria... We had an amazing time and conversation never stopped flowing!!!! So my little sister was in my company the entire evening and it was so refreshing to have a night together with her again... She is such a wonderful time. So we travelled to Bethesda to meet up with friends that were out at a dive spot, a new favorite. We had such an awesome time jumping and bopping around on the dance floor especially to Rihanna's We Found Love... I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the short end of it, Meg got shwasted, sloppy hot mess getting hit on hardcore by our new friend who is having relations with a dear friend... It caused some slight drama but ended well, I guess... We left the bar without either of our IDs, had no idea at the time where they ventured off to! I drove Megan home, I was Captain Sober... Filled out all my paperwork for America's Got Talent and then drove downtown to the mall. I walked all around the Monuments, mentally preparing for my audition through the practice of meditation. Met a bunch of people who were setting up for different walks and fundraisers down there for the day. It was an awesome morning! I could not stop taking pictures of the beautiful scenery and the sunrise!!! I seriously want to continue this same routine at least once a month, it was breathtakingly gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Words cannot express and I would upload the photos from my phone, however my shit got jacked...
So the Audition Process begins. I got in line at 7, there was already a line wrapping around the building, and immediately started networking hardcore. Because am I the only one out there that thinks everyone who auditions for all of these reality mega-hits has to be the best of friends when they get to know each other... AND that's exactly what happened!!!!!! I first met two little 17yr old little brothas, they were singers in a group of 4. The most impressive was a younger gentlemen who was from Armenian origin and he loves to rap and flow hip-hop! I suggested we collaborate, I will be his Niki Minaj... His mom thought it was an awesome idea. Also atop the list of impressive folk is this group of high schoolers who immediately performed for me to the song David Guetta collaborated with someone.... But the line was one of my favorite parts...
So we get numbers and wristbands and go inside to wait for the audition to happen. I found a lovely group with a singer, bass player, and guitarist!! They were singing Bad Romance and were awesome!!! After waiting and eternity it was my time to shine... I went in and had to talk into a camera and tell about my history, went to the piano, got my bearings and wailed on Adele!!!! It was great. I was then asked to step out and was called back in to sing a second song, being put on the spot and unprepared I went with Celine's It's all Coming Back to ME!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course I nailed it, they seemed to really enjoy my vocalizations. I might need to switch up my routine and ditch Adele for the legit audition if I make it, soley for the purpose that it was a popular song in the DC auditions....
So the only BUMMER of the day was my phone, wallet and personal items were rummaged through and stolen!!!!! You would think that since they require you to leave all personal belongings outside of the audition space they would have tighter security to ensure that doesn't occur... But anyway I have no other complaints about any of the staff working from either the Convention Center or America's Got Talent. Everyone there had a very positive outlook with great energy and were extremely helpful!!
It's now just a waiting game to see if I made it to the next round... We shall see how it goes, but in the meantime I got a new phone, the iPhone4 and am in love!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome to the world of wonderful, it is literally a SMARTphone... So I have started recording some of my singing in the car and will be uploading them to YouTube so keep it in the back of your mind that I will enlist your services to not only view it, but suggest to everyone you know so I can make it on the show....
That's my story... xo thePioneerQueer
Monday, November 7, 2011
Be a Blessing to Those you Meet
Sound advice from a Mormon Mother...
Every time before I left the house in high school and throughout my life my mother said that along with Remember who you are and No Sex before Marriage! HAHA...Small insight into being raised in a naive and sheltered life. And I am not Hating in the least, had I never come into the light of my own bright star I would have never thought a negative thing about it. Thats the one positive aspect of living with the wool over your eyes...
That is one thing I would like to clear up while in the youth and virginity of my blog: I still to this day have not a negative bone in my being towards the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Everything out of my mouth is honesty, critical opinion and agreement to disagree. If the church believed in living homosexually I would probably still be a member of the church. Hey Fellow Mormon Raised Queers--That would be one way to make a shit ton of money, gather all of the garment wearing, Jesus loving homos and have your own reorganized order of the Mormon Faith. The man who started the Scientology Bullshit began his career in religion by believing it was the best way to turn a profit. And look how rich he is now!
Just saying, there is a good idea and way to fight proposition 8. Anyway, my standing with the church will remain that way until it begins to evolve. I haven't opened that book of dark tragedy with my therapist yet.
WHICH by the way is going amazingly well! I was assigned a young man who is graduating with his Doctorate in the spring and is working with patients as part of his practicum. He is so wonderfully dressed, kind-eyed with well picked out rims, nice on the eyes all topped with a happy energy and respectful disposition. I bonded with him immediately and tried to end our session with a half-hug straight man grab but he deflected it!!! It was wonderfully awkward and uncomfortable and I enjoyed every second of it!!
This post I want to clear up something that has been bugging me and then I will tell a small tidbit of information. I wish that in the near future my blog will be better organized into all the interests of my life: Arts and Crafts, Cooking with Paula Burrell, Mr. Poppins and his chittlins, How to Survive in the Gaytropolis with a Chubby Disposition, JewBagel or Bhuddha Guru:Quest for Sane Religious Relationship, and finally Waiting for my Marko...Come to me Papi!!
This past Saturday I found out that a dear friend from high school with whom I had lost touch, tweeted that she was in DC and I was invited to an evening with 9 friends, old and new alike. We went to Old Town Alexandria and had a quaint night that was ne'er quiet or queasy (alliteration gives me a hard-on)... It was FABULOUS!! Exactly what my life had been lacking so much of... I was confronted hardcore by Christmas DanceQueen ( she and I are actually dear friends who still to this day remember a day on the playground in 3rd grade that she was scarred for life from by a mean bitch who we still feel negatively towards. She and I were not only Christmas Dance Royalty together but also co-social directors for Gifted.Ed.At.Ringgold. We were such dorks but at the same time awesome. Good friend who I do NOT cherish at all when clearly I need to, she is married to a sexy, homosexual look-a-like because he is a fuckin body builder!! Love her to pieces...) on the fact that I yet to have a serious boyfriend relationship that I would want to have around when I begin my life with children and real responsibility... I think it might be on the horizon folks.. I got the itch for a bitch to look after me....and cuddle after intercourse! hahaha!
So that might be my only thoughts for now... I will post up again soon for some more deets about the weekend from Euphoria.
xo PioneerQueer
Every time before I left the house in high school and throughout my life my mother said that along with Remember who you are and No Sex before Marriage! HAHA...Small insight into being raised in a naive and sheltered life. And I am not Hating in the least, had I never come into the light of my own bright star I would have never thought a negative thing about it. Thats the one positive aspect of living with the wool over your eyes...
That is one thing I would like to clear up while in the youth and virginity of my blog: I still to this day have not a negative bone in my being towards the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Everything out of my mouth is honesty, critical opinion and agreement to disagree. If the church believed in living homosexually I would probably still be a member of the church. Hey Fellow Mormon Raised Queers--That would be one way to make a shit ton of money, gather all of the garment wearing, Jesus loving homos and have your own reorganized order of the Mormon Faith. The man who started the Scientology Bullshit began his career in religion by believing it was the best way to turn a profit. And look how rich he is now!
Just saying, there is a good idea and way to fight proposition 8. Anyway, my standing with the church will remain that way until it begins to evolve. I haven't opened that book of dark tragedy with my therapist yet.
WHICH by the way is going amazingly well! I was assigned a young man who is graduating with his Doctorate in the spring and is working with patients as part of his practicum. He is so wonderfully dressed, kind-eyed with well picked out rims, nice on the eyes all topped with a happy energy and respectful disposition. I bonded with him immediately and tried to end our session with a half-hug straight man grab but he deflected it!!! It was wonderfully awkward and uncomfortable and I enjoyed every second of it!!
This post I want to clear up something that has been bugging me and then I will tell a small tidbit of information. I wish that in the near future my blog will be better organized into all the interests of my life: Arts and Crafts, Cooking with Paula Burrell, Mr. Poppins and his chittlins, How to Survive in the Gaytropolis with a Chubby Disposition, JewBagel or Bhuddha Guru:Quest for Sane Religious Relationship, and finally Waiting for my Marko...Come to me Papi!!
This past Saturday I found out that a dear friend from high school with whom I had lost touch, tweeted that she was in DC and I was invited to an evening with 9 friends, old and new alike. We went to Old Town Alexandria and had a quaint night that was ne'er quiet or queasy (alliteration gives me a hard-on)... It was FABULOUS!! Exactly what my life had been lacking so much of... I was confronted hardcore by Christmas DanceQueen ( she and I are actually dear friends who still to this day remember a day on the playground in 3rd grade that she was scarred for life from by a mean bitch who we still feel negatively towards. She and I were not only Christmas Dance Royalty together but also co-social directors for Gifted.Ed.At.Ringgold. We were such dorks but at the same time awesome. Good friend who I do NOT cherish at all when clearly I need to, she is married to a sexy, homosexual look-a-like because he is a fuckin body builder!! Love her to pieces...) on the fact that I yet to have a serious boyfriend relationship that I would want to have around when I begin my life with children and real responsibility... I think it might be on the horizon folks.. I got the itch for a bitch to look after me....and cuddle after intercourse! hahaha!
So that might be my only thoughts for now... I will post up again soon for some more deets about the weekend from Euphoria.
xo PioneerQueer
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Big Dreams
So how many of us out there literally follow our dreams? I have so many ideas stuck up in my head that I really think will make money and I want to make it happen!! Most of them are silly about becoming famous but I really think I can make it, especially in this day and age where one Utube video makes your 15 minutes of fame come to life. I would like to be one of the finer few who gets to laugh all the way to the bank...
First and foremost there is such a need for mainstream openly gay comedians and I really think I was born to fill the role. If Ross Matthews and Loni Love had a homo love child I would be it, not because I'm black, but I have had enough in me to count as the partial black supporting/loving race...haha! I really want Chelsea Handler to hear my cause and let me come prove myself on her round table. I've never ventured into the improv open mic nights and I really should, by next month I will do that activity and let you know if I bomb...
On that note, can I get an audition for SNL?? I am so in love with Seth Meyers and I love weekend update, but am such a bigger fan whenever there are 2 co-anchors. Who will fill that spot? THE PIONEER QUEER! I have so much political rantings that I want to sound off like my dear idols Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, and who better than a Gay Government Guru?? Politically correct?--What the fuck is that? There is just so much that continues to happen in our world and it is completely insane! Where do these self loving assholes get off? Why can't we all just work together and love each other and fix our government with a ton of common fuckin sense...can I get a what what?? Plus if that were to workout, I have this fantastic idea for a series of sketches where I can impersonate celebrities acting like other celebrities...like double impersonation! Its sounds crazy when I write it down but I think it would be hilarious to play Lady GaGa impersonating Aretha Franklin, just random mashups.
As much as I love the hands-on aspect of the nanny job, there are just way too many problems that arise from crappy Parent/Nanny relations and I want to fix it and not only make this profession more stable but also find a means to create solutions for problems that I'm sure are universal in the nanny realm. I have ideas, boy are they good ones! However my lack of finishing my degree stops me in my tracks, but all in my own time and life path. I just know for sure that my days of working for the powers that be are surely numbered. I think its my age and level of maturity/responsibility that have brought me to this conclusion but I want my own company that I am passionate about and drives me to wake up in the morning. I was watching CNN yesterday and they were talking to Ben Stein about the Wall Street Protest and he said something that struck me. Work is a blessing. I'm happy for the time I get to wake up and go to work, it gives me self satisfaction that I'm doing something I love and boosts my self esteem that I can do what I do, it fills my day and makes me happy. If we all should adopt that opinion I think that the world would spin a little easier.
Hey Ellen DeGeneres, here is my other dream: Can I be your other partner with Portia and become Kings and Queen of the Gay Talkshow Host Mafia? I really want to have my own talkshow that promotes goodness in the world and has a track of revolving co-hosts that I would find supremely entertaining. I think its a banging idea. Oprah, call me. Anderson, do you want to get together and compare notes and promote our shows? I'm in! You can be part of the mafia too, obvi, even the mascot if you would be interested you sexy silver fox. I love everything your about and your shows inspire me to be more rounded and knowledgable, plus mad respect for demanding your private personal life. You go girl!
Well I think that shall conclude my jewels of wisdom for the day. If you haven't already purchased your personal copy of The Places that Scare You, please do. It will lift you all the way up to a HAPPY PLACE!!! That's my story...
First and foremost there is such a need for mainstream openly gay comedians and I really think I was born to fill the role. If Ross Matthews and Loni Love had a homo love child I would be it, not because I'm black, but I have had enough in me to count as the partial black supporting/loving race...haha! I really want Chelsea Handler to hear my cause and let me come prove myself on her round table. I've never ventured into the improv open mic nights and I really should, by next month I will do that activity and let you know if I bomb...
On that note, can I get an audition for SNL?? I am so in love with Seth Meyers and I love weekend update, but am such a bigger fan whenever there are 2 co-anchors. Who will fill that spot? THE PIONEER QUEER! I have so much political rantings that I want to sound off like my dear idols Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, and who better than a Gay Government Guru?? Politically correct?--What the fuck is that? There is just so much that continues to happen in our world and it is completely insane! Where do these self loving assholes get off? Why can't we all just work together and love each other and fix our government with a ton of common fuckin sense...can I get a what what?? Plus if that were to workout, I have this fantastic idea for a series of sketches where I can impersonate celebrities acting like other celebrities...like double impersonation! Its sounds crazy when I write it down but I think it would be hilarious to play Lady GaGa impersonating Aretha Franklin, just random mashups.
As much as I love the hands-on aspect of the nanny job, there are just way too many problems that arise from crappy Parent/Nanny relations and I want to fix it and not only make this profession more stable but also find a means to create solutions for problems that I'm sure are universal in the nanny realm. I have ideas, boy are they good ones! However my lack of finishing my degree stops me in my tracks, but all in my own time and life path. I just know for sure that my days of working for the powers that be are surely numbered. I think its my age and level of maturity/responsibility that have brought me to this conclusion but I want my own company that I am passionate about and drives me to wake up in the morning. I was watching CNN yesterday and they were talking to Ben Stein about the Wall Street Protest and he said something that struck me. Work is a blessing. I'm happy for the time I get to wake up and go to work, it gives me self satisfaction that I'm doing something I love and boosts my self esteem that I can do what I do, it fills my day and makes me happy. If we all should adopt that opinion I think that the world would spin a little easier.
Hey Ellen DeGeneres, here is my other dream: Can I be your other partner with Portia and become Kings and Queen of the Gay Talkshow Host Mafia? I really want to have my own talkshow that promotes goodness in the world and has a track of revolving co-hosts that I would find supremely entertaining. I think its a banging idea. Oprah, call me. Anderson, do you want to get together and compare notes and promote our shows? I'm in! You can be part of the mafia too, obvi, even the mascot if you would be interested you sexy silver fox. I love everything your about and your shows inspire me to be more rounded and knowledgable, plus mad respect for demanding your private personal life. You go girl!
Well I think that shall conclude my jewels of wisdom for the day. If you haven't already purchased your personal copy of The Places that Scare You, please do. It will lift you all the way up to a HAPPY PLACE!!! That's my story...
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
The weight of a man on top has been felt: Praise Jesus Child
SO last night was a good night... I ended up having a crazy day running around the county courthouse because my sister is in a terrible situation with a jekyl/hyde man in her life and by the time the day had ended a beverage was certainly in order...
I traveled to Dupont Circle and met friends at a straight bar called MadHatter. Love the music and the dance floor and its always a really chill crowd with decent specials. Immediately I honed in on my straight target, people that I think are interesting and although it might appear as flirting it tends to be more about curiosity and getting to know a good friend that poses a cool image... This particular one we'll call Don Draper because he was dressed so well that his 3piece suit could have been straight out of MadMen. He left with us a half hour later to hangout with us and come to the real party at JRs, a dainty lil homo-bar. Thats 1-0, Go PioneerQueer!
So whilst enjoying some 2 dolla vodka bevs we talked to everyone and don't you know that Kharma shined some sun on me last night for being so well behaved, it was show tune night!!!!! Apparently they do it every Monday. So they just Utube musicals and the entire bar group karaokes... It rocked my world!! Thats 2-0, Go PioneerQueer!!!
I met a very nice man in town visiting from New York City on business and in the beginning of the night he was boisterous and fun, however by the end of the night he was grabby and sloppy sammy sourpuss. I really try not to judge in those situations and just diffuse because we have all been there in that frame of mind, but he got out of control once he tried to stick his hand into my pantyhose!!!! I smacked his hand and said Excuse Me GIRL WHO YOU TRYING TO PLAY RIGHT NOW???? and then followed it up by busting out laughing into roaring laughter. Does that negate the point I was trying to make?? 3-0, GO PioneerQueer.
I found a fine young gentlemen who was leaving the bar at exactly the time my friends and I were leaving the bar and he happened to take notice of my assets, heals do amazing things for legs ladies I am here to tell you. And that's another thing. I have been a roller coaster of opinions this weekend on the matter, after wearing heels 2 nights in a row my feet were pretty beatskeet and I didn't want to wear my heels again and I had jumped on the sympathy train concluding that heels are bitches. But I really wanted to make them work so I cut the top of them with a utility knife and just created a little more room for my big chubby toes to squeeze into. And then last night it was like I found my sea legs in my heels and I was all over the place. They are like giant stilts with glitter, and have proven to be equally as magical. Being a drag queen really has its benefits. Never have I felt more like a black man, the heels made about 6.5-6.6 so I could tower really easily. But anyway back to my original point, I was able to find a man who not only had a nice member, but he blessed my life with it in his ability to lay the pipe ladies and gents and it was a fantastic feeling. Been a really long time since that egg was cracked... 4-0, GO PIONEER QUEER!!!!
It was an awesome Halloween weekend and I sucked up every ounce of partying my old 26 yr old body can handle... It doesn't work like it used to kids! My back is busted and my feet are already covered in corns... somebody call the wah-wah-wah-mbulance!! Thats my story...
I traveled to Dupont Circle and met friends at a straight bar called MadHatter. Love the music and the dance floor and its always a really chill crowd with decent specials. Immediately I honed in on my straight target, people that I think are interesting and although it might appear as flirting it tends to be more about curiosity and getting to know a good friend that poses a cool image... This particular one we'll call Don Draper because he was dressed so well that his 3piece suit could have been straight out of MadMen. He left with us a half hour later to hangout with us and come to the real party at JRs, a dainty lil homo-bar. Thats 1-0, Go PioneerQueer!
So whilst enjoying some 2 dolla vodka bevs we talked to everyone and don't you know that Kharma shined some sun on me last night for being so well behaved, it was show tune night!!!!! Apparently they do it every Monday. So they just Utube musicals and the entire bar group karaokes... It rocked my world!! Thats 2-0, Go PioneerQueer!!!
I met a very nice man in town visiting from New York City on business and in the beginning of the night he was boisterous and fun, however by the end of the night he was grabby and sloppy sammy sourpuss. I really try not to judge in those situations and just diffuse because we have all been there in that frame of mind, but he got out of control once he tried to stick his hand into my pantyhose!!!! I smacked his hand and said Excuse Me GIRL WHO YOU TRYING TO PLAY RIGHT NOW???? and then followed it up by busting out laughing into roaring laughter. Does that negate the point I was trying to make?? 3-0, GO PioneerQueer.
I found a fine young gentlemen who was leaving the bar at exactly the time my friends and I were leaving the bar and he happened to take notice of my assets, heals do amazing things for legs ladies I am here to tell you. And that's another thing. I have been a roller coaster of opinions this weekend on the matter, after wearing heels 2 nights in a row my feet were pretty beatskeet and I didn't want to wear my heels again and I had jumped on the sympathy train concluding that heels are bitches. But I really wanted to make them work so I cut the top of them with a utility knife and just created a little more room for my big chubby toes to squeeze into. And then last night it was like I found my sea legs in my heels and I was all over the place. They are like giant stilts with glitter, and have proven to be equally as magical. Being a drag queen really has its benefits. Never have I felt more like a black man, the heels made about 6.5-6.6 so I could tower really easily. But anyway back to my original point, I was able to find a man who not only had a nice member, but he blessed my life with it in his ability to lay the pipe ladies and gents and it was a fantastic feeling. Been a really long time since that egg was cracked... 4-0, GO PIONEER QUEER!!!!
It was an awesome Halloween weekend and I sucked up every ounce of partying my old 26 yr old body can handle... It doesn't work like it used to kids! My back is busted and my feet are already covered in corns... somebody call the wah-wah-wah-mbulance!! Thats my story...
Monday, October 31, 2011
Tricked and Treated this ENTIRE weekend!!!
Well it is Monday morning and my mind is racing with all the fantastic things that occurred. I shall make a list to begin:
A. I must apologize sincerely to a dear friend who's feelings I hurt by not mentioning his vital role in my social life thus far... He is my social connection to every activity I partake in. Without him I would be the kid who not only goes out alone but also never experiences the wonderful things life has to offer. However I did indulge a little too much on the candy and it flipped my whole body out of whack... So much for the diet but it was superior chocolates that had a rocking sugar high!!! haha
B. Old friends are blessed jewels of the womb of Jesus. When you see an old friend out in a social setting and they haven't seen you since you fell off the face of the earth six months back and you connect and feel of their genuine concern for you, not only does it warm you up from the groin to the heart and right back down to the center unit, but also makes you a better person! I am striving to achieve balance in all things in my life and a necessary part of me being better is being social.
C. I discovered I enjoy going out by myself: Last night, I got to talk to a lot more people, ran totally solo and it was liberating!! I had met a wonderful friend and her man candy (quick side note: SHOUT OUT to the coolest hetero I have ever met... Not only does he appreciate my sense of humor, he's intelligent, handsome, and has not the slightest amount of insecurity with himself that he can handle my lack of censorship in a mixed sexualities atmosphere... So it has propelled the funniest relationship where I will go out of my way to try to make him feel uncomfortable and i have yet been able to...) downtown at a chill bar to watch my boys GO STEELERS beat the pants off of her boys, the pats. She had a prior engagement in which it stopped our ability to hangout longer and my friend was going to meet me down in Dupont at our favorite Queerakoe event. He bailed...bummer. Needless to say I still stayed at that bar in Full DRAG as Hedwig and the Angry Inch, if you have no idea who or what that is do yourself a favor and utube it. I talked to everyone that I could!! There were multiple times that I had to pull myself away from conversations because I had to dance for a minute. The best part about it is I didn't have my money with me cause I had misplaced my wallet at said friend's house so I didn't even drink!! Sober bar chilling is not a frequent event in my life, but that will speak volumes as to how much fun I had and coolness in the friendships I cultivated last night... Love y'all
D. I'm dropping a big bomb on this and can't wait to see the carnage after it detonates, haha only yoking... I sang last night and enjoyed it so much that it really has my heartstrings pulling on my talent strings to get back to singing and musical theater if at all possible. In conjunction, I found out that the popular TV show America's Got Talent was auditioning here in the Nation's Capital and to I signed up to audition. I honestly hope it will be the right size box I need to stand on and get noticed. We'll see what happens, I have never really been a serious fan of this particular show and I didn't want to let the opportunity pass. Because I might hurt some feelings out there I want to be Chelsea Handler Honest right now, it makes me absolutely sick that a thick bitch with no talent but good looks got paid 17million dollars to let people watch her wedding! I love to sing and perform and have routes to try to get noticed doing so, wouldn't it make sense I grasp onto and try one of them? Just wanted to give you a heads up about that one, its next Sunday... Expect to hear about it again...
Thus concludes today's session of whats going on down here in GayWorld, brought to you by a manny. I will finish by noting publicly the difference it makes when you do a live-in position verses live-out. I didn't get to see my lil man this morning because I slept in a bit, but I got to chill with him Saturday and Sunday and it makes life better! So far the only negative thing about being a homo, but still a blessing as well: You give up natural procreation with the one you love but that in turn opens the window larger for gays to create beautiful homes and environments to raise smart and openminded children that would otherwise not have that good of upbringing. That is a beautiful thing that naturally speaks to my heart. I would love the opportunity to be some shit ton of kids second daddy! I'm brangelina sistas and brothas! But for real, I even teared up the one day when I was dropping off my boy at his school and his little friend kept insisting that I was his daddy. I'm preparing for that, it's in my goal of things in the next five years and its terribly frightening how serious I am about it. Love it! That's my story...
A. I must apologize sincerely to a dear friend who's feelings I hurt by not mentioning his vital role in my social life thus far... He is my social connection to every activity I partake in. Without him I would be the kid who not only goes out alone but also never experiences the wonderful things life has to offer. However I did indulge a little too much on the candy and it flipped my whole body out of whack... So much for the diet but it was superior chocolates that had a rocking sugar high!!! haha
B. Old friends are blessed jewels of the womb of Jesus. When you see an old friend out in a social setting and they haven't seen you since you fell off the face of the earth six months back and you connect and feel of their genuine concern for you, not only does it warm you up from the groin to the heart and right back down to the center unit, but also makes you a better person! I am striving to achieve balance in all things in my life and a necessary part of me being better is being social.
C. I discovered I enjoy going out by myself: Last night, I got to talk to a lot more people, ran totally solo and it was liberating!! I had met a wonderful friend and her man candy (quick side note: SHOUT OUT to the coolest hetero I have ever met... Not only does he appreciate my sense of humor, he's intelligent, handsome, and has not the slightest amount of insecurity with himself that he can handle my lack of censorship in a mixed sexualities atmosphere... So it has propelled the funniest relationship where I will go out of my way to try to make him feel uncomfortable and i have yet been able to...) downtown at a chill bar to watch my boys GO STEELERS beat the pants off of her boys, the pats. She had a prior engagement in which it stopped our ability to hangout longer and my friend was going to meet me down in Dupont at our favorite Queerakoe event. He bailed...bummer. Needless to say I still stayed at that bar in Full DRAG as Hedwig and the Angry Inch, if you have no idea who or what that is do yourself a favor and utube it. I talked to everyone that I could!! There were multiple times that I had to pull myself away from conversations because I had to dance for a minute. The best part about it is I didn't have my money with me cause I had misplaced my wallet at said friend's house so I didn't even drink!! Sober bar chilling is not a frequent event in my life, but that will speak volumes as to how much fun I had and coolness in the friendships I cultivated last night... Love y'all
D. I'm dropping a big bomb on this and can't wait to see the carnage after it detonates, haha only yoking... I sang last night and enjoyed it so much that it really has my heartstrings pulling on my talent strings to get back to singing and musical theater if at all possible. In conjunction, I found out that the popular TV show America's Got Talent was auditioning here in the Nation's Capital and to I signed up to audition. I honestly hope it will be the right size box I need to stand on and get noticed. We'll see what happens, I have never really been a serious fan of this particular show and I didn't want to let the opportunity pass. Because I might hurt some feelings out there I want to be Chelsea Handler Honest right now, it makes me absolutely sick that a thick bitch with no talent but good looks got paid 17million dollars to let people watch her wedding! I love to sing and perform and have routes to try to get noticed doing so, wouldn't it make sense I grasp onto and try one of them? Just wanted to give you a heads up about that one, its next Sunday... Expect to hear about it again...
Thus concludes today's session of whats going on down here in GayWorld, brought to you by a manny. I will finish by noting publicly the difference it makes when you do a live-in position verses live-out. I didn't get to see my lil man this morning because I slept in a bit, but I got to chill with him Saturday and Sunday and it makes life better! So far the only negative thing about being a homo, but still a blessing as well: You give up natural procreation with the one you love but that in turn opens the window larger for gays to create beautiful homes and environments to raise smart and openminded children that would otherwise not have that good of upbringing. That is a beautiful thing that naturally speaks to my heart. I would love the opportunity to be some shit ton of kids second daddy! I'm brangelina sistas and brothas! But for real, I even teared up the one day when I was dropping off my boy at his school and his little friend kept insisting that I was his daddy. I'm preparing for that, it's in my goal of things in the next five years and its terribly frightening how serious I am about it. Love it! That's my story...
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Halloween with Besties!!!
I forgot that this Holiday now applies to all ages and generations. I attended a banging party on a farm in the middle of nowhere last night with a huge bonfire, tents with DJs, plenty of booze and police and some really amazing people. I love that consuming substances bring people from all walks of life together. I could not stop talking to random strangers last night, all about my personal life and interests with them and hearing all about theirs. I have not been so uninhibited in a long time! My soul just automatically wants to trust people with my entire life and become new friends. And it is SO SO SO nice to live in a city that is conducive to that atmosphere. How things compare and contrast to the nightlife scene in Pittsburgh where I used to live is astonishing. I can have 40 conversations with randoms in a night while drinking out, while in Pittsburgh it tends to be shady and judgey. No one cares when I roll up with a full face of makeup and nail polish here. They might wonder what I am about, but its generally coming from an understanding curiosity, not judgement. I reconnected with a dear friend who works for a large energy drink company that sponsored the event, I felt like I was in Almost Famous because not only was my friend dressed as Penny, I had all access to behind the scene with the bandaids and made some amazing connections. By the way my costume was DJ LanceRock from Yo Gabba Gabba, it is lil man's favorite and I took him to his school party last week and recycled for the adult party! Tonight I plan on being Hedwig and the Angry Inch!! LOVE that movie and will rock my inner drag queen for the one night a year I allow her to come out...
One of those very special connections was with a tattoo artist who does amazing work and we collaborated on what I want for my new tattoo... So that is the goal for my self Christmas present, but we shall see if I meet my goals in order to achieve cool tat status by next year.
So now I am babysitting my little man, the love of my life. Sister is at Grandma's so it is just us while Mom and Dad enjoy a date night out... These have easily become the favorite parts of my life. Mothers out there can I get some agreement: He is in that new stage of communication where everything is the most interesting thing to him and he can't wait to tell you all about it. He turned 2 last month and is already tackling huge sentences!! This from the kid that had 15 words at 18 months and there was some concern from the rentals about autism... However I have worked with and known autistically challenged(my coined phrase) children and there was never a doubt in my mind that this is one of the smartest and interesting kids I have ever worked with. After waking from his nap this afternoon we stopped in the hallway where there is art hanging from the National Zoo, pictures of bugs. We took the time to discuss the dragonfly and his wings, the beetle's body and eyes, and even a mosquito's stinger! It amazes me the attention his little eyes pay to detail... Is this normal?? Am I so blinded by love and pride in what a good kid I've raised in the last year?? This is what I am saying when Nannying is a hard job because your emotions get so involved. There is never a really positive way to end your job once time has come to move on from a family! Anywho, mini-gripe really quickly, diaper rash cream is a necessity for a child with sensitive skin and a long napper who will willingly lay in poodie diapers for hours. I'm not sure if it is blatant neglect or just non-observance but it frustrates the shit out of me. He was so sore from the wipe today that he sobbed whilst being cleaned!!! Breaks your heart man... I picked him up afterwards and sang him some homemade verses of a Mormon Primary song I used to love! haha. I do it all the time, its so easy to rhyme and sing whatever the situation calls for, case and point bad diaper rash... That's my story!
One of those very special connections was with a tattoo artist who does amazing work and we collaborated on what I want for my new tattoo... So that is the goal for my self Christmas present, but we shall see if I meet my goals in order to achieve cool tat status by next year.
So now I am babysitting my little man, the love of my life. Sister is at Grandma's so it is just us while Mom and Dad enjoy a date night out... These have easily become the favorite parts of my life. Mothers out there can I get some agreement: He is in that new stage of communication where everything is the most interesting thing to him and he can't wait to tell you all about it. He turned 2 last month and is already tackling huge sentences!! This from the kid that had 15 words at 18 months and there was some concern from the rentals about autism... However I have worked with and known autistically challenged(my coined phrase) children and there was never a doubt in my mind that this is one of the smartest and interesting kids I have ever worked with. After waking from his nap this afternoon we stopped in the hallway where there is art hanging from the National Zoo, pictures of bugs. We took the time to discuss the dragonfly and his wings, the beetle's body and eyes, and even a mosquito's stinger! It amazes me the attention his little eyes pay to detail... Is this normal?? Am I so blinded by love and pride in what a good kid I've raised in the last year?? This is what I am saying when Nannying is a hard job because your emotions get so involved. There is never a really positive way to end your job once time has come to move on from a family! Anywho, mini-gripe really quickly, diaper rash cream is a necessity for a child with sensitive skin and a long napper who will willingly lay in poodie diapers for hours. I'm not sure if it is blatant neglect or just non-observance but it frustrates the shit out of me. He was so sore from the wipe today that he sobbed whilst being cleaned!!! Breaks your heart man... I picked him up afterwards and sang him some homemade verses of a Mormon Primary song I used to love! haha. I do it all the time, its so easy to rhyme and sing whatever the situation calls for, case and point bad diaper rash... That's my story!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Communication and Support, 2 Sisters I don't have......
So begins the week... This past weekend was jam-packed with fun filled activities: I met up with a dear friend I hadn't seen in months and we canoodled and talked til 330 in the morning, soberly I might add.... I woke after 3 hours of sleep to go downtown to the mall to walk and raise money/awareness to Sex Slavery in America (I was shocked at the numbers they shared from the podium of women trafficking right here in our own country).... By 5:00 I was enjoying the Toddler Boogie! a fundraiser for my lil man's daycare school (I was so upset that his parents couldn't get him to wear the cute Halloween outfits I had found for him--he looked adorable in the duck costume but we also had a dinosaur... I fell asleep early around 8:00 on the couch watching Project Runway from Thursday (GO ANYA!) and woke up at 130, my body telling me its time to be up and active, so I wrote some notes down, checked my email, surfed in my scubbies on the net, read a book, NONE of my tricks worked to help me fall asleep (even the standard one all males sometimes rely on but no one talks about-that didn't work either) SO I went to the gym, had an awesome work out and then came home........ I had a frustrating conversation with my soon to be ex brother-in-law and it inspired me to do yardwork! Brought out my inner-immigrant I worked for 6 hours straight on getting all the shrubs cut back for fall and cut the grass..... I had a busy weekend.
That being said, I have the amazing luxury of having 3 of the most amazing siblings anyone could ask for and when I am apart from them I want to tell them every detail of my life as if they were here! This is a drastic leap from where I was 3 months ago when my mute persona was in town with the depression and I never told them anything. My oldest and wisest sister point black said to me, "Aar I love that you have changed and that you have exciting things to talk to me about but you're exhausting!" This came out of the conversation after both Saturday and Sunday I blew up her phone, as well as my sister Megan's, for them to never respond to me neither by text or call. We have all been in that frustrated situation and it pissed me off!! Now I will present the better situation: I called my friend Heather and she was busy with her 3 children so she didn't answer and shot me a text a half hour later explaining herself. NORMAL! I don't feel like my expectations are too high, just would appreciate some normality from them and common decency... Because if communication doesn't happen regularly people grow apart. How can we feel support from each other if that is never communicated accurately? As a childcare provider I used to think that the worst situation to be in was having different discipline ideas/techniques, however now I think its just talking to each other. In my current job problem after problem have occurred because it is so difficult to communicate with 2 people who put career first in their life and not knowingly the children second. It's so devastating to me because those sweet children suffer, that you have now paid me for the last year to care for and fall in love with. No matter how you look at it, their care is compromised when adults don't make time to communicate with them/their nannies.
Climbing down from the soap box... I don't want to go into any great length of detail but I will drop a spoiler alert. Yesterday an accident happened while I was watching the house and natural gas came pouring into their home.. The emergency was handled and all is fine--no one blew up, praise Jesus--however mine and the Dr.'s relationship will forever be changed because of the communication that went down. That's my story...
That being said, I have the amazing luxury of having 3 of the most amazing siblings anyone could ask for and when I am apart from them I want to tell them every detail of my life as if they were here! This is a drastic leap from where I was 3 months ago when my mute persona was in town with the depression and I never told them anything. My oldest and wisest sister point black said to me, "Aar I love that you have changed and that you have exciting things to talk to me about but you're exhausting!" This came out of the conversation after both Saturday and Sunday I blew up her phone, as well as my sister Megan's, for them to never respond to me neither by text or call. We have all been in that frustrated situation and it pissed me off!! Now I will present the better situation: I called my friend Heather and she was busy with her 3 children so she didn't answer and shot me a text a half hour later explaining herself. NORMAL! I don't feel like my expectations are too high, just would appreciate some normality from them and common decency... Because if communication doesn't happen regularly people grow apart. How can we feel support from each other if that is never communicated accurately? As a childcare provider I used to think that the worst situation to be in was having different discipline ideas/techniques, however now I think its just talking to each other. In my current job problem after problem have occurred because it is so difficult to communicate with 2 people who put career first in their life and not knowingly the children second. It's so devastating to me because those sweet children suffer, that you have now paid me for the last year to care for and fall in love with. No matter how you look at it, their care is compromised when adults don't make time to communicate with them/their nannies.
Climbing down from the soap box... I don't want to go into any great length of detail but I will drop a spoiler alert. Yesterday an accident happened while I was watching the house and natural gas came pouring into their home.. The emergency was handled and all is fine--no one blew up, praise Jesus--however mine and the Dr.'s relationship will forever be changed because of the communication that went down. That's my story...
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Back in Action
In the last 6 months I have suffered the hardest depression of my sweet little life(I picture underprivileged children in 3rd world countries saying "buck the hell up whitie, how bad can it be queermo?"). It has been absolutely miserable! The hardest thing about mental illness is that you need your mind to make the decision that you need help; but how are you supposed to go about that if your mind is fucked up???? In special cases family and friends can step in and help but being one the most stubborn and hard-headed individuals alive my family was only allowed gentle suggestions. If my life was brought up casually in conversation and even the slightest amount of criticism entered any of their mouths I would fly off the handle. I have always been an enthusiastic, passionate and dramatic individual but everything hit me so personally and I would react so irrationally that I was dubbed sensitive steve. Clamming up was my only option because I literally felt the weight of my illness like a giant black blanket that suffocated me from the inside out. Articulating feelings was next to impossible. Being social or in crowds of people was painful. I was not the Aaron that I know and love.
Praise be to the Lord that is all behind me! Hopefully for the last time...fingers crossed and then pulled into a fist and knocking on wood. Any other dumb rituals I can do to avoid cursing myself by writing that out loud? I am pretty sure I am bi-polar, suffering from wonderful highs for months at a time followed by depressive bouts for months at a time. As I look back and study my life this is now the fourth consecutive year it has occurred, coincidentally the exact same time I decided to come out of the closet and leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Well its only taken me til 26 to realize that if you don't change up the action you take, a problem will never fix itself. I have turned to alcohol, I tried bottling it up like pickles to save for a famine, promiscuous sex worked about as well as denial, and even sweet little Maryjane couldn't cloud my mind enough to make it better. So now I will resort to the professionals and I am keeping them crossed again that the pro bono ones are still legit cause nannying does not include benefits. I am hopeful. Can't get any worse than waking up in a bed soaked like a sponge of urine infused with vomit and the worst hangover of your life and a stranger in bed and thinking no one will miss me if I were gone!!!(ok I added the stranger for effect but the rest is real) I really am glad I am being full frontal honest for all my family/world to enjoy...
So as I embark on this journey to mental stability and happiness, I plan to visit a lot of old memories to help heal those wounds. I hope to open up forums to discuss mental illness and try to help those who might be in my same situation get help and be healthier. I hope to "Live my life as an experiment," a quote from The Places that Scare You by Pema Chodron, an excellent book given to me by a new and dear friend that I am only on the first chapter and already love.
That's my story...
Praise be to the Lord that is all behind me! Hopefully for the last time...fingers crossed and then pulled into a fist and knocking on wood. Any other dumb rituals I can do to avoid cursing myself by writing that out loud? I am pretty sure I am bi-polar, suffering from wonderful highs for months at a time followed by depressive bouts for months at a time. As I look back and study my life this is now the fourth consecutive year it has occurred, coincidentally the exact same time I decided to come out of the closet and leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Well its only taken me til 26 to realize that if you don't change up the action you take, a problem will never fix itself. I have turned to alcohol, I tried bottling it up like pickles to save for a famine, promiscuous sex worked about as well as denial, and even sweet little Maryjane couldn't cloud my mind enough to make it better. So now I will resort to the professionals and I am keeping them crossed again that the pro bono ones are still legit cause nannying does not include benefits. I am hopeful. Can't get any worse than waking up in a bed soaked like a sponge of urine infused with vomit and the worst hangover of your life and a stranger in bed and thinking no one will miss me if I were gone!!!(ok I added the stranger for effect but the rest is real) I really am glad I am being full frontal honest for all my family/world to enjoy...
So as I embark on this journey to mental stability and happiness, I plan to visit a lot of old memories to help heal those wounds. I hope to open up forums to discuss mental illness and try to help those who might be in my same situation get help and be healthier. I hope to "Live my life as an experiment," a quote from The Places that Scare You by Pema Chodron, an excellent book given to me by a new and dear friend that I am only on the first chapter and already love.
That's my story...
Monday, March 7, 2011
Here We Go
So I really want to try this blog thing out. I have always thought that my writing style is unique, simple and very similar to the way I speak which I really find amusing. Filling in some blanks as to the title of my blog, I wish to invite you in on a tour of my daily life as a big gay manny! I work in the suburbs of Washington DC working for a family with two children, ages 4 and 18 months old. Their daughter goes to a montessori school full-time so I mainly care for the lil boy, my lil man!! We have wonderful outings every day and being able to teach a youngster and watch him learn and grow totally fuels my maternal side and gives me a great release for all of my nurturing attributes. In addition to a wonderful job I love to cook, clean, craft, crochet, and get crunked (on the weekends only of course, and I hope the alliteration dances on your pallet, there will be plenty more where that came from)! In form of flattery I adopted the pioneer portion of my title from a well-respected fellow blogger. Its meaning is two fold: a. I was raised Mormon. Pioneers was probably one of the first words I ever learned, so not only did I learn of that portion of history but also have personally pioneered my way out of the closet and into a life full of fun queerness and social blossoming!! b. My cooking inspirations include Paula Dean, Anne Burrell, Julia Child, and Carla from Top Chef(fav show ever) and if you throw in a mixed tape from Celine Dion and Ricky Martin, you got yourself close to what I like to achieve on plates. I love butter and natural fresh flavors infused with love and goodness!! My dear friend once labeled me the magician in the kitchen because while living on a tight, cheap budget was able to throw together the most disgusting of ingredients and it still tasted like heaven. Magic I tell you. So I hope that we can enjoy this ride together as I daily bring anecdotes and hopefully smiles to the forefront of your beautiful brains with the joys and frustrations of child-rearing and hopefully some awesome recipes! Cheers .
P.S. As I was leaving the house today to take lil man to the park I rolled my ankle at the bottom landing of the stairs and completely biffed it into the azalea bushes on the right!! Thank God I had already put him safely in the stroller, but I am a class A clutz!
P.S. As I was leaving the house today to take lil man to the park I rolled my ankle at the bottom landing of the stairs and completely biffed it into the azalea bushes on the right!! Thank God I had already put him safely in the stroller, but I am a class A clutz!
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